Proposal Concerns

My only concern would be how to set up each paper as in what to do for each both the written part and the creative part.

I guess my biggest concern with this project is that since it has so many open doors that we can choose to work with (which I love, by the way!) that with mine being done in a satirical manner I won't cover all the loose ends that could potentially pop up and create a problem with my claim. Also, works cited page?

I'm worried that this assignment will not go the path that it's suppose to go. i think that i dont have a strong solution to this problem and dont know which way to go.  should we inclued any  cited pages... it seems like a fun assignment but lets see how it goes.

I'm Scared

I'm afraid that my work will not recieve the recognition it deserves. I know my paper and my visual aid will both be beneficial to the class, but I'm kind of afraid nobody will be smart enough to understand. Oh, the life of an intellectual...

My questions

    My only question is if we are supposed to include any work cited pages or if this is based only on our belief of our problem we picked. I don't really know what to expect for the feed back for the workshop. I would like you to explain more in depth about what is due next class period so I have a better feel for what I should do. 

Feedback

When we do workshops next week I'm hoping to provide better feedback than previously. Now that we've done a few workshops I think we get the idea and know how to give supportive and structured criticism. I'm hoping to receive, feedback wise, what I give to others and hope they will also take the time to really read and provide strong criticism.

I elieve that for the most part I am pretty set with this proposal assignment. I think the insructions are simple enough and all the information needed to write this proposal is easy to find. I also like how we can be satirical if we choose to be, which makes things feel more laid back and more my style. This will certainly be interesting to se how the project works out.

Questions and Conerns

Do we have to use a creative proposal that you suggested or may we come up with something else? such as a poem?

problems?

Concerns i have regarding the project are mainly related to the creative side of the project.  My real world problem is obesity and im just not quite sure how im going to put photos together to show what i propose we do to cure obesity in America. 
In the peer workshops next week im just looking for good advice and ideas as to how i can better represent what im trying to portray in terms of obesity in America.

Questions

I have a problem and a solution, however, I don't know how I'd go about doing it.
My problem is Starvation in Africa and my solution is establishing the One-Child Policy (like what they have in China). I think it is a good solution because the less people brought into Africa, there will be less that will starve and that way they can try to save money that they don't have. I will write a formal proposal but I don't know if my solution could be possible because there is so many countries and governments in Africa, so who do I address?

Concerns

The concerns I have about this paper is making my point strong enough to persuade people that this can be a solution to procrastination. It is a hard topic because there is so little research or reasons to back up my solution, but if I word it right, it can be a strong paper. Also, finding and completing my medium if going to be a challenge.

Questions?

For this assignment my biggest concern is how I am going to tie together my letter and the creative assignment. The type of feedback that I am going to need for the letter is making sure that it fits the topic and addresses both the problem and solution without sounding disrespectful to the recipient. For the creative part the type of feedback that I would be looking for is that it is visually appealing as well as having good information.

project

In this new paper I feel pretty comfortable. In the peer workshops, I'm looking for useful feedback on how to make my project better and more effective. I want to know what I can improve on and hopefully doing the peer reviews next week will help.I feel like the assignment is pretty straighforward and I dont have any questions.

I am worried about this essay becasue I have never done anything like it before. It seems like a fun assignment but I dont know where to start or continue when I do.

Questions and Comments

My biggest concern for this project is length. Since I will be writing a letter for the written part of the project, I would like to know how long it should be. I would also like to know how big a brochure should be for this project. Can it just be the size of a regular piece of paper or should it be bigger? A question I have about the written part is if I can add some personal information on it, since I think that it will explain why that problem interests and affects me.
I am actually excited for this project because I like to make colorful and creative things, which is why I want to do a brochure that not only will be informative but it will also be colorful. I am looking forward to receiving useful feedback during the workshops next week, and I will also do my best to give some good feedback.

Concerns about this project

The concerns I have about this project is that plastic water bottles may not be as big a problem to the world's water systems and environments as I think. Obviously they are eyesores, and its awful to let them, much less anything, just float around in the water, but how much problems does this really create? I might be hard-pressed to find explicit images of creatures suffering from problems created by the plastic water bottles; rather, I might have to find more generic pictures of water and environment pollution, and work it to my cause.

I would be appreciative of feedback that could point me to different sources for information about plastic water bottles and the problems they cause, and possibly information about the types of plastic itself.

Concerns/Feedback

The point of this assignment is pretty straight forward. The only concerns I have about the project is taking the main argument and presenting it in two ways. I plan on using the proposal as a letter to a government official and then using a brochure to get the argument to everyday people. The ideas are the same throughout but I have to show them in ways that are effective to the different audiences. I hope that the workshops will help give me feedback as to the effectiveness of the specific arguments.

Proposal Concerns

The only concern I have really is that people won't understand my paper is supposed to have a satirical solution. The previous blog we wrote people questioned how this was to work in real life: its not supposed to work in real life. Its satirical. I understand the letter and everything and the media, I'm not exactly sure that what I have is what Forsyth is looking for but I'll show it to a few people and see what they think. That is all.

Only Concern

The only concern I have for this piece is whether or not I can make a live documentary with actors in this time frame. Hopefully I will be able to make a two minute movie, however, I'll probably have to do it in a photo essay type set to music. Hmmmm, feedback? I don't think I have any questions for this assignment, it seems pretty understandable and easy to attempt.

Proposal Questions

My only concern really is how this is supposed to work. I'm writing a letter to the Deans of both the Boulder and Denver campuses and then making brochures and posters. Does this mean I write a three page letter and create two posters and a brochure? I just need a little clairfication on this.

Proposal Questions

This assignment seems much more involved than the others but in a good way. This is much more creative. If we are being satirical though, do we need the presentation to be credible or look rediculously un-credible? That is the only part that I am worried about.

Claim

World conflict and famine are with out a doubt crucial issues plaguing today's societies all over the world, and due to hang-ups in legislature and litigation there seems to be no government solution in site. Something as simple as a fundraiser may be just what is needed to bring the world together for not only financial support but world-wide comradery.

In order to stop the world population from growing even more leaders of all nations should come together and plan out a world war in order to reduce population.( I know it sounds bad but i had nothin)

My claim on extinction of species

Killling of endangered species should be taken more seriously, therefore this act should be punishable by law and the those who commit this crime should be punished by imprisonment or death.

my claim

Obesity in America is far too common, I suggest we issue a nationwide run equipped with nutritionists, trainers, and doctors to monitor the "clinically obese" as they walk/run from coast to coast over a span of three years to not only help them lose weight, but to improve there general quality of life as a whole.

Proposal

Medical marijuana is a key element that could potentially pull our nation out the recession because of the wide ranging patients and unique economic/ social circumstances.

claim

The Never Ending Vending machine will most definitely end starvation in Africa because it will produce a diferent variety of food that will never cease to exist.

Claim

Since the dawn of man made products and packaging, littering has always been an issue. For me, it is un forgiving to the earth to trash it with items that are not bio degradable. Maybe someday, with the proper actions, the world can lean to properly pick up after themselvs. It is an easy resposibility to throw away your trash and with this proposal, I intend tomake people realize how easy smart it really is to keep it clean.

Claim

In order to discontinue people continuously being late, time should be forever frozen.

The Final Solution

My problem is global warming and my solution is to prohibit strong polluting technologies and businesses as well as throwing polluters behind bars until they have learned their lesson.

Claim

The Mexican government needs to stop interfering with Mexico's drug cartels, while both Mexico and the United States legalize the consumption of drugs in order to end the violence that has terrorized the entire population of Mexico and the U.S.

claim party twenty ten

In this increasingly frightening economic climate the newly bereaved can rest assured that their energies may be focused on the remembrance of their loved ones as opposed to the astronomical costs of burial or cremation with economically fiscal body disposal services.

CLAIM

Since internet fraud is a growing problem, the companies whose names are used to create fraud should tighten their control on their company name and reputation so it makes it harder for scammers to rip people off by creating a system that cannot be easily copied; like that of a drivers' license or a dollar bill.

My Claim...

Every couple should have to meet a specific set of requirements before they get married to help keep divorce rate in America down in order to show the importance of family.

Stalker Prevention!

Because stalking is a major issue on the rise, the female population should carry baseball bats at all costs to ensure their safety amongst the general population.

Reckless Bicyclists Claim

Stricter enforcement of traffic laws and new bike paths will lead to safer streets and safer habits.

Renewable energy in our own graveyards!

Because of the growing population we are running out of land for people to inhabit, graveyards take up a lot of space and are filled with renewable energy resources, we should impliment a new system that allows us to morne our dead and then burn their bodies for energy. This will rid us of the need for graveyards and thus make more room for the living while ensuring that our physical bodies are put to good use.

claim

Instead of punishing North Korea for testing nukes, America should weaken their military power by helping them improve their economy.

THE solution for AIDS!

The worldwide HIV/AIDS pandemic is a problem that could be simply solved if we relocate all people with the viurs to an island segregated from the rest of society bringing silent suffering to stable serenity.

Tickets Please!

I believe that as students at the University of Colorado Denver, we have the rights to have all to attend the sporting events even though we dont live on the Boulder campus. I am proposing that there is a OPTIONAL athletic fee that would allow the students who want discounted sutdent tickets to events to be able to get them. I also think that this would increase the school spirit on the Denver campus as well. After all we are Buffs! :)

Plastic Water Bottles Run Amok in Water

Plastic water bottles are increasingly polluting the world's water supplies, and the process of creating them is polluting the water as well. Most of these bottles are non-biodegradable, so they will float in the water until they are taken out. The best possible solution is to seize the assets of the companies that produce these plastic water bottles, and then shut down these companies. The seized funds and assets will be used to create a coalition dedicated to taking out all of the possible water bottles out of the world's water systems.

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm

7th Rule

Instead of making broad statements, one should always speak directly to the audience. The readers should have mental pictures of the arguments to solidify their understanding of the topic. The writer can accomplish this by using dialect that emphasizes specifics and examples.

7th Rule

A seventh and eighth goal that I believe could be added to Orwell's list could be; when analyzing a piece of writing , don't be harsh just to be harsh. Try not to pick out and dwell on small details just because you are analyzing. Also don't set unrealistic goals for your writing.

Don't agree with Number 1

I don't agree with number one "Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print," because even though it may seem wrong to the author, I personally think if you can use them to deffend what you are saying then why not? Simile and metaphor is just something we have been using for a long time. If you know what a simile or metaphor means than they can support your claim or thesis correctly.

New Rule

For a 7th rule I would have to say do not go off into tangents on an unrelated topic and do not use repeated words throughout the writing.

the seventh rule

If there was a seventh rule for any phrase it would be........ i dont know.......repeated words throughout the phrase, paragraph or essay.

A seventh rule?

I liked Orwell's rule that he has for good writing. I guess for a seventh rule I would say, keep to the point of the story, don't stray off topic.

Orwell

For a 7th rule...Avoid using the word I as much as possible.

orwell

Orwell's sentiments on the degredation of the English language is valid but his solutions are somewhat idealistic. The rules he sets to follow are somewhat pretentious and nationalistic to think there will be no other cultural or lingual influences. The age of the article can explain his concern with the use of English in writing. Orwell does well bringing to our attention common overuse of certian diction but for modern times, may well be too narrow in his view.

A seventh rule!!!

7) Use correct punctuation and intersting word selection.

George Orwell's Forgotten 7th Rule

7. Never knowingly use language which is ambigous or unclear, or otherwise obscures your intended meanings and arguments.

This is an important rule, mainly because it forces us to re-think our word choice and structuring of sentences as we write them. Many times we find a particular word, phrase, or something similar that sounds very pleasant in our mind and even when reading, and we will be tempted to use these even if they add nothing to the paper except aestheticism. According to George Orwell, this would be a large problem as arguements are most persuasive and engaging if they can be clearly understood and concise.

Rules

I disagree with #2 because it depends on what kind of tone you are using. If i was using a professional tone and I used small words instead of some big ones then they may read my paper and think that I am ignorant or incapable of writing professionally. Using big words can be a display of someones vocabulary as well and show that they know what they are talking about.

Disagreeing with Orwell

One of the rules stated in Orwell's paper was never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. I think its fine to use a metaphor or simile. Especially in creative writing similies and metaphors are important and they help make the imagery vivid. He stated in his paper one of the two problems in the example he used was it's staleness of imagery. He is sort of contradictory in this sense and it confuses me. That is all.

Exception to Number 1

Rule number one of Orwell's solution to fix the problem with the English language states that one must "never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print" (Orwell). I disagree with this rule because there are certain figures of speech which can be useful in one's piece of writing. If one knows the meaning of a certain figure of speech and if it makes sense to be used within the piece of writing, then why not use it? I believe that, in some cases, figures of speech such as metaphors and similes can make a piece of writing seem more vivid and descriptive. If these are used in other print documents, then it means that these figures of speech are useful and popular, not that they're bad to be used within one's own writing.

#7

If I had to add a rule to George Orwells list it would probably be that, when writng, one should try and let it flow naturally with out thinking too hard about what one is trying to say. I feel that this is a good way to show true voice to the reader. After all, we never really think too hard about what we want to say in a conversation and that is one of the most truest forms of "voice". Maybe some day, I can learn to write as naturally as I speak.

Orwell Rules - disagree #1

George Orwell's first rule in regards to never using a metaphor which you are used to seeing in print is a rule that doesn't work for me. Metaphors that we are familiar with help us share a meaning quickly and allows those within our culture to understand it on a broad level. Coming up with new metaphors is a great way to emphasize something and share it in a new light, but not all readers/ listeners may be able to relate or understand your new metaphor. There are metaphors that are used here in the U.S. and there are different metaphors used in England for example. These are great cultural reminders and I think they should stay.

new #7

New 7th rule:
Never lengthen a sentence needlessly by adding words or phrases that don't relate to your point just to sound smarter, it will make you sound like you don't know what your talking about

Orwell Article

7.) The quality of the work is what matters, not the amount.

Orwell's Rules

I would say that for the most part that the six solutions for fixing the English language are pretty good, however, I would have to disagree with rule number 5. I believe that sometimes it is okay and acceptable to use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word in a paper. It makes the paper more interesting at times, and there is sometimes a "everyday English equilvalent" that works, but makes the paper more boring.

7th Rule

Always remember "stuff" not "fluff" when writing.

7

Do not create long and complex sentences when two simple ones will do.

GEORGE ORWELL!!!!!!

Hmmm......I disagree with #5 which states that we should never use a foreign phrase or a scientific word because I think that using foreign words dictates our voice of the paper and determines our audience that we choose to speak to based on how advanced our writing language is. If we all do as Orwell states, our voice of the paper will seem very elementary because for most foreign phrases, English equivalents don't exist. So by transforming all of our phrases into Saxon words, the complexity of our papers will vanish.

6 word story

People suck. I like dogs better.

Six Words

Reba is my girl. Ture story.

six words that tell a story

Wanted to stop being a procrastinator.

6 words

Stressed. Forgetful.  But exceptionally happy.

6 words

happily busy...always all the time

toffee-nosed

Dolphins are such pretentious little bastards.

6 word story

english paper is due today...s#*@

My life in 6 words

Well, I can live with that.

Six Words :)

Living for the perfect, unexpected ending.

6 word quote

I'm more tired than I look.

6 words

Twenty-four hours, too much to accomplish

6 words of awesome

Tragedy in life creates inner strength.

6 Word Story

Love with everything that you have.

Six Word Story

Big dreams, big goals, working hard.

This assignment rocks...wait, is this a joke?

Six Words

Behind the smile lies something more.

story

Don't give up until it's over.

Six words of life

My life is travelling the world.

fun semicolon how-to

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon

Revisions

I am not thrilled when having to write the same paper over and over but I can certainly see a difference each time I write a new draft. Being critical of your own writing is hard but makes you see your repetative mistakes and learn not to make the mistake in the first place. I think draft writing is beneficial and in my next draft I will incorporate the opinions of my peers about my paper and will formulate a conclusion for my paper.

25%

   While doing my previous papers, during the revision process, I would not change much when it came to content. I would fix minor grammar errors or little things that a peer may have caught during a workshop, but I never really made drastic changes like adding or removing whole paragraphs. I think this was because, half, I didn't really want to put in the work or thought. Also the quality of the feedback from peers was really never taken seriously, by them which results in me not taking it seriously either.
   During the current paper, definition argument, I put a little more time and effort into writing the first draft so I want to see myself get a better grade. When I get great feedback, about what I should change I will change it and maybe elaborate and go into detail about the points I may have just skipped over. In result, from the first draft to the second draft I have changed my paper about 20-25%

Revision Mania

I think close to 30% of my paper will be completely different than my original draft because I usually have a hard time writing a "good" paper the first time. I have come to find that revision, though sometimes tedious, is more important than many like to admit. I think the reason why it is so important to writing a good paper is because it

revision

I believe that a revision on my paper will be necessary because I first of all do not right good papers I tend slack of on my writing. There are a lot of simple mistakes I over see and pay no attention to them. This revision would be good for me in a way that would allow me to become a better writer by seeing my weak points and also give me a boost in revising my papers that in the future will help me out greatly. Its is going to help me out fin

Revising my paper

    I think that a really good portion of my paper is going to have to be revised. My best guess would be 40%. My strategy on making my paper better is going to be breaking down each paragraph and rewording each sentence so they each contribute to the paper as a whole. I feel like I have a lot of fluff in each paragraph that doesn't need to be there. I am also going to work on my organization because that seems to be one of my bigger weaknesses. To improve my grade i am going to try to make my writing more interesting so the reader doesn't not have to zone in and out of the essay. I feel if I just changed minor things then my essay would be significantly better then my previous work. I will try to vary my sentences in length and choice of diction so it is not so repetitive. Hopefully this works out better then my last essay.

what will i do

For my paper im going to probably end up changing 15-30% of it during the revision.  This paper is a lot harder than my pitbull essay because my claim is more of a stretch in this paper.  I'll have made three revisions when the final paper is due and to me thats plenty.  I do feel however that my revision process will need to change over from highschool because high school revisions were typically a piece of cake, but i can see now that these papers need to re-revised and re-read over and over.  ..."and that's all i have to say about that..."

Revision

In the past when I revised I used the help of fellow classmates and my family to give me ideas and pointers on how to make my paper better. Revising helped me a lot and still does. Today, I usually look over my paper from grammar, punctuation, proper sentence structure, etc. When I revise my paper myself I think it is good enough but then I have classmates and or friends/ family members do some more critiquing of my work. Revising helps me a lot especially from other people because I get other individuals ideas and opinions on how to make my paper better.

How did we revise our paper?

To revise my definition agrument paper I had Lucy read it and give me some feed back. Her feed back was really helpful. Some things I did to revise my paper was one, recite more of my sources, two, not use too much first person talk in some areas, and three, remove my personal thoughts from the 3rd paragraph to the closing paragraph.

Revisions

To revise my definition argument paper, I tried to improve the analysis of it. This was a problem in my rhetorical analysis paper, so I decided to improve it in this paper. I did this by explaining some of my ideas more in-depth because some of them were vague. I also added another source to my paper, as it was recommended to me on Thursday during the workshop. All of the feedback that I received from having people revise my paper was also useful and I tried to incorporate most of their suggestions withing my paper. For the final draft of my paper, I hope to eliminate most of the grammatical errors that it may have so that my paper is as best as I can make it.

10%

When writing this paper, I feel confident in the content, however, it is a bit redundant at times. My revisions will probably change my paper slightly to clean up and make my paper more concise. In revising this paper, I will also focus on paragrph transitions. My previous writing style has basically stayed the same. I do pay more attention to transitions between paragraphs, as I feel this is a weakness in my writing. I have a fair amount of writing experience through work experience. Very frequently I write notes to families, individual learning plans and newsletters for the classroom. In doing so, I have had to pay attention to my voice and make sure it is a professional one.

Revise

I usually am not the best at revising my papers however in this particular paper I belive that I should be able to revise at least 10-15% of my paper with out changing it too much. I think that, over all, I have pretty good paper. Some gramtical aspects about my paper could be changed along with how I cite my sources with in the paper. This shouldn't take much revision at all. Other than that, I am pretty satisfied with the content and structure of my paper. Needless to say, there is always room for improvement.

Revising

I really have to do well on this paper. As far as revising goes I will go back through and ask why in all my arguments since in my last paper it was a problem. I will go back and check all the punctuation because that was also a problem. I will read it aloud and make sure the sentence structure and organization is ok, which I did not do last time. The other main thing I will do is have someone not in this english class look at and try to tell me what the purpose of the paper is and see if they can pick out my thesis and arguments. I took into account the changes that needed to be made from the first peer edit and I will do this process again with the second peer revising. I also need to go back and look at the first paper and look at everything I did wrong and try to not make that happen in my second paper. Hopefully it will be better.

Paper gooder

In performing revisions to my papers, I usually change at least 10% of the paper's content and structure. This number may seem small, and that's because it is. I always feel like my papers are very good as-is when I write them the first time, and unfortunately, this hampers the paper, because no paper is good enough in the first draft. On this paper, I will revise probably the whole thing, because I'm probably going to change my claim, if not my definition as well.

Through my revisions, I had realized that both my definition and claim of my term "alive" must be reworked, as they didn't really work and cover all that I had wanted to say. Even now, I have to go back and truly analyze these two, and see if they really explain what it is to be "alive". I also have revised my word choice, as it was originally lacking in its ability to properly convey what I was trying to argue. Hopefully, by Thursday, I will have a masterpiece on my hands or rather, your hands.

35%

Revision definitely isn't my favorite process while writing a paper but probably the most important. When I revise my papers, I like for them to change drastically for the better. In writing this paper, it has already changed alot from the first draft to the second. I think it still will change from the second draft to the final but not nearly as much as the first draft to the second. Revising this paper was not that bad seeing as alot of it was research and organization but it still wasn't fun. Revising is important when composing a good, well rounded paper, I know, but it gets so boring sometimes! Peer review sessions are helpful because I am able to get another perspective on my paper and it helps with the revision process alot.

REVISION!

Revision, the act of editing grammar and expanding ideas. Most of my revisions for papers are more of editing grammar than really anything. Since my papers always seem to have detailed content, there's very rare times that I have to expand on a certain section. However, I do expand on almost every paragraph whether someone commented on it or not. For my definition paper, I think that I will have about 25-35% of different (or expanded) content in my paper. Granted it will probably be more grammar based content than expanded themes or opinions, but nevertheless, some of my paper will be revised differently.

Revision

So for this essay, my main thing that I'm working on as I work towards the final draft is just cleaning everything up to make my essay one of the better essays that I've written. All I'm pretty much doing is going through, rewording parts here, taking out pieces, adding more in and so on. This is mainly because my first rough draft was simply a bunch of thoughts thrown together just so I had at least the main idea of what I kind of wanted, down on paper. Now all of it just needs a bit of editing and touch up to become a nice essay. I'm betting that from my first rough draft to my up coming final draft, the overall change will be about 50 percent.

Revision

In the past as far as revision has gone, nothing major has every really had to change. In highschool revision was more fixing typing mistakes and problems with grammer. The only time we ever really looked for bigger picture things was when the essay did not fit the prompt or topic at all. For this paper some of the things that I plan on working on as far as revision goes are making sure the paper flows. My transisition so far seem to be pretty bad, so that is one of the major points I need to work on for this paper. Also for the definition paper I need to work on my introduction. It does not really catch the readers attention, or make the reader want to continue reading and that needs to change. As far as what I have done between the first two papers for revison the biggest thing I did was take out uneccesarry filler information, and add in more essential information and alot more anaylis rather than summary. I would say that my paper is probably going to change about 15- 20% between the first draft and the final draft. I say this because any paper definitly needs work but I feel like i had some good ideas and a good start so it does need to completly change but somethings both major and minor need to change.

5-10% Change

For the first paper the only revisions I did were the suggestions from the peer workshop. This time I plan on going through the paper closely and seeing what I can improve on in regards to structure. Some of my paragraphs are a little "wordy", and I will need to go through and edit so the paper has one continuous style. The overall content of my paper is relevant and to the point, all I need to focus on is grammar and structure.

Let's make this one better...

This next paper, I really have got to rock it. I really need to spend more time dedicated to it. The revision process will be much more tedious, what I think is good, doesnt quite cut it. So I have already planned and scheduled a trip to the writing center for the day before the paper is due. This will be the last revision done to the paper before I turn it in, hopefully this is more helpful then last time. Also we are doing two peer editing this time which I am really taking seriously. I cant have anymore C papers EVER! Hopefully the people reading my paper will really just tear it apart this time. I need it. Also I have scheduled a meeting with Forsyth and hope that she will help me improve my paper to get it to that coveted A! :)

revisions

I go through huge revisions. Everytime I return to my paper to edit, I think of new ideas and remove old ones. Since I make big revisions, it takes me a while to do them. However, I believe that these revisions make my paper better. I would say my paper changes about 35% from the first draft to the final draft.

SLANGuage

When it comes to talking around friends, or people my own age in similar situations, I tend to be a little more relaxed with my language and will eventually drop a couple "naughty" words once and a while. However, I think I am different than most people in the way that I speak with proper grammar in most situations. Of course I'm a little more professional and proper when it comes down to meeting a new person, speaking to someone my elder, or an individual who holds authority over myself. This is just a respectful way to act, and although its more of an unwritten rule it bothers me when its broken. That's why to be aware and follow the rule myself.

Language

    My voice and language can be different when talking to various people. For example my voice and language changes when I talk to people with authority I am more respectful and proper. When I am with my friends I tend to speak more immature (even though I am very mature)! If I am in public I act more appropriate and not like a menace, but when I am with my mom I act more open and try to get a rise out of her, The most important thing is that I know how to act around different communties and people.

My voice changing...haha

My voice changes whenever im around friends im more comfortable regarding language whether it be more cussing or less.  Around teachers, im polite.  Around adults in general im respectful and watch my language, but when around my brother and close friends its whatever comes out.  My language isnt that profane anyway so i don't usually have to watch it.  if you speak maturely in front of adults, cussing happens, its when you overly use "bad" words that makes you come off as either un-intelligent or just simply without care for what comes out of your mouth. 

Voice - Change for audience

Your voice and your language changes depending on who you are speaking with. If you are with your family you may use a different tone than you would with your friends. You also have different shared experiences and you may use a more connotative way of speaking that others may not understand. with Teachers you may want to have a more professional face so you may be more formal with the words that you chose and how you phrase your sentaces/ questions/ responses. . . You know that different people expect different things from you and and so you play the role that is expected of you.

people

My laguage changes depending on the people I am with. If I am with my parents or my teachers, I try to be respectful. If I am with my friends, I tend to be more relaxed and true. Although being respectful is a huge part of me, I cannot show all of my self to the teachers or people I barely know. This is becasue my friends and parents understand me. Since they are more understading, they are not going to judge me by my mistakes.

Voice & Language

The voice and language I use changes depending on who I am talking with or simply who I am around. When I am with my family and friends my language and the voice I use tends to be less formal and contains more error. When I am at work or school or with an important adult figure my language is much more sophisticated and my voice contains less error all together. If you use the wrong language or voice with the wrong person then you might send the wrong message and they may look at you as someone who is not serious or does not care how they may act. The use of voice and language is very important in society and one must use it properly and different for different people in their life.

Voice and Language in Speaking and Writing

Voice and the language used can have a significant change depending on who the audience is. When I'm around people whom I know very well such as my friends and family, my voice and language isn't formal and I pretty much use any type of language. There are times, though, when a professional type of language is needed, especially around friends, because you also don't want to seem like an ignorant or unsophisticated person. When I am speaking with a teacher, a stranger, or any other person, however, my voice and language tend to be more formal and respectful. I watch what I say and I try to use a tone that is appropriate during the conversation. Voice and language can also change in writing because with friends and family, it is not as necessary to write formally as opposed to writing to other people because a more formal and grammatically correct style is needed.

I belive that my language doesn't chage too much depending on my community. Its more so how much of myself or my language I reveal to certain people. For instance, around my friends I can be my entire self and say pretty much anything at anytime and I would feel comfortable enough saying it. While with my family, it is a little more different. When communicating with my family, I tend to be a little more serious and respecful but at the same time I don't really change that much because I use similar language around my parents as I do around my friends. As far as communicating with teachers and other similar figures, I try to stay very respectful and professional in attempts to make a good hard working impression.

voice and language

My voice and language changes alot depending on who I'm talking to... If I'm talking to my friends and some members of my family I talk informally and relaxed. When I talk to my teachers I speak more formally. I like to think that I speak with respect no matter who I'm talking to. When I speak to my co-workers it can either be work related which is a more serious conversation or more of a personal conversation which is more informal. My voice and language usually go together.. If my voice is relaxed and informal usually so is my language and if my language is formal and "down to business" usually so is my voice. Sometimes I try to hide what I really want to say or how I really feel through my voice and language by trying to make one or the other sound or seem like something else.

Language and style

It becomes more formal, much more concise, and the kind of diction used changes significantly. You attempt to show a more mature and intelligent side of yourself than you would feel the need to with friends. If you were too formal and impersonal when talking with friends, they might think you're not really friends, or that you don't feel connected to them. With family, its even more so informal and colloquial, and you are able to hopefully show all of your own personality when talking with them. However, it is necessary to show a little restraint rather than with your friends, as they are likely to disapprove or become indignant at your communication, because they likely perceive you as a good person still.

F-Bomb City

My voice and language changes from an academic tone in a paper, to more casual when talking with a friend. Professionally, I tend to use more formal language when discussing a student with their parent. I like to believe that for the most part I am relatively articulate even in more casual settings, and I definitely have formal language when writing.

Language

Depending on the audience your writing to, the language and voice you use changes. Changing your language to match the audience of your writing helps in developing credibility and ethical appeal. Your writing style helps to draw the audience into the paper. If you don't adapt your style, you will alienate some audiences if you use a high level style when writing to a lower level audience. You would also turn off higher level audiences if you use a low level style. Being able to adapt your style to the target audience, will allow for the ethical appeal of the paper to grow.

Voice

My voice and language varies whenever I am interacting with people from the academic world by substituting simpler words with more complex sentences and thoughts. This is because I want to show my audience that I am sophisticated and that I can answer with an intellectually open-mind. I want to prove the worth of my education I was raised upon so that my audience will see that I can communicate with them thoroughly. When I am surrounded by friends, my voice and language, although still complex, tones down because not all of my friends understand some of the language that I use. Also, I use a lot of slang words with my friends and other teenagers that people in the academic world do not relate or understand.

VOICE!

The voice changes into an academic sense when I talk to a teacher or an authority. When i talk to friends or family I am in more of a conversational type tone and I interact completely different than I would with an authoritative figure. It can change within a community by whether or not I am comfortable where I am and if it is where I want to be. Voice is an every changing subject depending on who you are with because I could talk in a completely different voice when I am with certain people. The voice i have with my friends is more friendly and descriptive where authoritative figures can be intimidating causing me to have a more business and to the point voice.

Voices

My tone of voice and the language I use differs depending on who I am talking to. With my brother and sister or friends I don't mind using bad lanugage and being sarcastic and funny but when I'm at church or with my boyfriend's parents or my own family it's a different story. At Church or will adults I don't use bad language, I'm still sarcastic a little, but I watch what I say. In class, I like to be funny and make jokes but when I'm around people I don't know very well I'm a little more reserved, for about five minutes until I find someone to talk to. I know my mom doesn't like when my siblings and I use bad language so I try not to, but when I'm around my friends it makes it "ok" because we all use the same language.

Voice

My voice changes quite a bit depending on who I am talking to. When talking to friends often times you use slang words, or talk in incomplete senteces or short thoughts. Also often times you say things that are rude and disrespectful but no one ever really cares because that is how everyone is talking or acting. However when talking to teachers or other people who are in charge, the language used is often more eduacated and polite. People make sure to use manners, and other items that are necessary to sound intelligent.

How does my voice and language differ from place to place? Well quite a bit really. In class I reserve my opinions and dont speak my mind. I dont use any profanity or slang when talking to a teacher or authority figure. I try to appear professional and polished. When with friends however it all comes out. The real Ariel shows her head. I appear to be a little prissy girl in class and have been taken for 'stuck up'. Outside of class you will find that I'm actually quite the opposite. With friends, I am goofy and silly and say things without thinking not caring much how it sounds. With family, it is much the same however it depends on the family member. With my grandpa for example, there is not much room to joke. With my cousins however we never have a serious conversation.

Voice and language

My voice is very defined depending on who I am talking to. If I am talking to a teacher or my family, my voice and language is very formal. I don't curse, haha, and I try to use words that tend to be slightly more formal. With friends however I constantly laugh and speak out a lot more than I ever do with a teacher. My opinion is constantly known in the conversation and it's just a lot of good fun.