yo yo yo yo yo

Okay so I read over the comments aaannnnddddd...the biggest problem was not enough talk about how I was going to help cure obesity.  I did a good job setting up why it's a problem, but I needed to focus more on the solution.  I thought I outlined it pretty well, and didn't think it was necessary to fill ALL the blanks for the reader but oh well.  In terms of my next paper I'll just make sure my formulation of claim is strong and my solution is explained deeply.  My portfolio paper is going to be a good one because I have all of these revision ideas in mind.